this is me, nice and vulnerable

This is my first official blog! Welcome to 2009, right? As the holiday season and 2010 creeps right up on us, I figured I need to spend a little more time being introspective and figuring out me. I have all of these ambitions that, for no real good reason, I keep putting on hold. Life isn't about procrastination, and I need to reach up high (I may need to stand on my tippy toes to get there) and hold fast to those ambitions. Maybe a blog is silly. Maybe it will be therapeutic (I keep meaning to journal, but I keep my journal by my bed, and by the time I get to bed each night I am too wiped to write anything!). Maybe it will hold me accountable for these things I aspire to do with my life. We shall see.

So this is me. I am content with the basics of my life. I have the most adoring husband, a cutie little snugglebug puppy, and a job I truly love. But I have this desire for adventure in life that isn't satiated by playing housewife, mommy, and breadwinner. While I'd like to say my adventures involve globetrotting to exotic locales, I think one can also find adventure in the smallest of places, and I plan to do just that. I have a few things I'd like to improve within myself, and they are as follows:

• fitness: I go through such phases of being a gym rat and getting into great shape, then letting it all go. Why do I do that? My confidence in myself has a lot to do with how fit I feel and how my clothes fit on me. I strive to be consistent with my fitness efforts.

• spanish: I love the beautiful language! Considering I got a minor in the subject, I am embarrassed that I am less than confident in my ability (or disability, at this point) to hold a conversation in Spanish. Yikes. I want to read/listen/speak more in Spanish.
  

• art: I have always had such appreciation for anything artistic - painting, drawing, dancing, singing, theater, poetry, etc. There was a time when art was a huge part of who I was. Doing musical theaters and choirs were kind of my thing. Then, in high school, I felt this pressure to succeed "academically", which, in my house, didn't include the arts. So I basically dropped all of these things I was so passionate about, and over the last eight years, I have found myself literally in tears because I missed these things. Most of all, I missed who I was when I was up on that stage. I was once a girl with all the confidence in the world. So, I am starting this one off small. I am going to buy an easel, some paints, and some canvases. Maybe I'll even audition for a small production sometime.
  

Well, those three bullet points may seem like no big deal, but they are three areas in my life that have been continually put on the back burner. And it's time for me to get a grip on both myself and my dreams so that I can have that little spark of adventure in me again. Here's to myself - and the journies that lay ahead of me. I hope to have half of the devotion of that guy who dances with the sign on the corner of Harmony and College...haha.

Cheers