Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 4

welcome :)

Welcome, 2012 :)

(Before I get any further, I feel obligated to mention to you all that this is my 200th blog post! What an accomplishment, eh?)

While 2011 had its ups, it did not have any shortcomings in the downs department either.

The ups are easy to outline for you:
(complete with links if you feel compelled to revisit any of my shenanigans)
had a great job working with newborns
wonderful friends through work
tried new restaurants (Sushi Den, you are yummy)
drank great beer (I'm looking at you Breck Brewery, New Belgium, and Wynkoop)
visited places on my Colorado "To-Do List" (Dave and Busters, Jumpstreet, Celestial Seasonings tour, St. Patrick's Day parade)
read 12 books
watched great films
lost weight (don't worry, gained every lb back)
saw Ke$ha in concert (glitteriest white trash party I've ever been to!)
had a wine-o of a birthday party
played hard in Blackhawk
had fun in Breckenridge
traveled to San Diego on vacation with my husband
had some good-ish moments with Naggie (remember when she apologized???)
cooked a lot of REALLY good food
started PA school
my brother came home from his Marine tour and got married
enjoyed the Colorado mountains with a few camping trips
lost weight again (and gained it all back)
joined Pinterest (does this count? I think so.)
had a grrrrrreat Halloween costume (sorry, couldn't help myself with the pun there!!!)
took part in some volunteer and donation projects
enjoyed the holidays (very very much!)

The downs are a little more difficult to outline.
There's the obvious Naggie debacle. Last week she cut our internet and cable cords. Nice. Penny's health problems --- she was a genuine MESS this year! But most prominent, and least superficial, are the internal struggles I have been having since school started. The feelings of inadequacy and exhaustion that plagued me for the better part of September through December. This program is hard. I get it, you're supposed to be challenged in graduate school. Maybe even struggle a bit. But literally I could hardly keep my head above water. Treading water is perhaps an overused example of life situations, but it is the perfect one in this case. I felt like I was barely surviving, sputtering and choking out the things that tried to drown me this semester. Thank God, really, for the support of my friends, family, and that wonderful bald husband of mine. Without them, I would have completely lost myself. And maybe I even did lose myself there for a little while, but they brought me back.

I think it might be significant at this point to mention that I started 2011 as a blonde, went dark brown (in correlation with the impending doom of fall semester), and am now "in transition" back to blonde. I'm meant to be blonde, who was I kidding with that attempt to look all sophisticated and classy? My year in hair color is as follows:

Jan - July were the blonde months
 End of July was dark brown!
 Fall was the darkest time of all
 Lightening up just in time for New Years Eve!

My husband also underwent a hair change. He went from balding --> bald. Good for him for "taking control of the situation" and shaving the rest off!

In all seriousness, 2011 was a very blessed year for me. Here it is, January 4, 2012, and I'm still breathing. I may have hyperventilated a few times and become slightly addicted to Ambien in those last few months of school...but I made it.

My only true resolution for 2012 is to strive for balance. Balance seems to be this magical and elusive concept I couldn't seem to grasp last semester, and I NEED to have a firm grasp on it this semester. In order to achieve this balance, I have to figure out a way to simultaneously do better in school (study more effectively, because I was already studying as much as humanly possible), hit the gym more frequently than once a month (I'm not exaggerating about my gym attendance, or lack there of), walk the dogs more often than twice a week (sadly, not exaggerating about this statistic either), plan quick/easy meals so I don't carb load on crap (which sends me into the inevitable spiral of negativity).

I do have other "goals" for 2012 if you will. This means I'd like to achieve them, but my life doesn't depend on them. I need to lose 10-15 lbs (in 2 weddings this summer = motivation!), read 12 books again (loved that goal for 2011!), and try 10 new experiences. The last one is vague, I know. It's vague on purpose. Then I can say I've achieved it whenever I've felt like I've tried enough new stuff :)

Well that was long.
Thanks for bearing with me :)
Happy 2012


CHEERS to our improved versions of ourselves for a happier, healthier year :)

Sunday, October 23

trying not to fall

Hello out there, FRIENDS!!!

Wow - I haven't posted since I was on my little summer break in August! Been missing you and all things blogland! What have I been up to this fall? Essentially... I have been getting my ASS KICKED in PA school! Legitimately. I have never in my life been in a higher stress situation. 11 classes + a clinic day makes it real difficult for this chick to work on life balance. :/ 

So, as you know, I started that Body For Life program in August. My first 4 or 5 weeks were phenomenal! I lost 8 lbs --- success! But then...I failed my first exam in life ever. So, I decided to spend more time on school, and less time at the gym. But that plan proves to be a problem as well, because when I don't have the gym to let out my excess energy and stress, I am just a big mess. Crying nonstop, gaining some lbs back, and not sleeping as well. It's super frustrating. It's like I'm a pendulum, swinging back and forth between school, and living a healthy life. And my momentum gets me stuck on one end of the spectrum, and it becomes difficult to land somewhere in the middle. 
The word of the season is balance. And I'm on a constant quest for it.

Amidst my normal causes for stress, I have a Naggie situation to deal with as well. She has started blaring her TV at night, and then falling asleep to it. So I can hear it all.night.long. At first, I thought she was intentionally trying to ruin me. Now I think it's just that's she's becoming more and more senile and losing her hearing, and not realizing how effing loud her tv is. So I've had to call her and ask her to turn her tv down just to be able to sleep. 

Sleep is totally at the root of my problems. I'm anxious about school, so I don't sleep. Then I'm tired, so I can't study. Vicious cycle. But on Tues I'm going to my primary care physician to get a sleep aid, and hopefully that will help get me back on the right track. 

If I make it through the semester, I will have learned a lot of lessons about coping with high-stress situations. I need to do well in school, but I need to do the little things like walk my dogs, hit the gym a few times each week, cook with my husband, go to church, see my family every few weeks...  And hopefully my quest for balance will be fruitful at some point...I'm hoping sooner rather than later!

Until then, my mantra is "4 week Christmas break, 4 week Christmas break, 4 week Christmas break..."

(I did take a 24-hour break in Fort Collins this weekend --- lounge on the couch, watched Monte Carlo, lunch with my family...refreshing!)

home sweet home --- fall is in full swing at my parents' house!

My mom even let me eat off of my baby plate :P

Cousins playing vampires with candy corn, haha. 

Sister time reminds me to laugh more often, it's therapeutic :)

Cheers :)