of course this would happen to me...fml!

Okay, friends. It's story time. Like this-story-is-so-ridiculous-but-yes-it-really-happened-to-me. Not sure if you remember THIS LOVELY POST --- the one where my dogs locked me out of our townhome. Yeah, true story. Well, in the post, I also talked about how being locked out of the house made me realize I have zero neighbors to turn to in the event I need help of some sort. No one talks to us, and no one really hangs out outside their houses, so there hasn't been much of an opportunity to meet our neighbors...except for the lovely lady sharing our west wall with us. We'll call her Naggie.

We've always gotten the sense that she doesn't like us very much. Kind of snooty. Reported us to the HOA for not cleaning up our dog poop last winter when it was frozen to the snow. Then, this summer, Tyler chopped branches off of our tree because it was hanging over the fence into her yard. For the first time, she started to be friendly to us. I was so excited to be maybe getting into the good graces of a neighbor!

When the holidays started rolling around, we gave Naggie a Christmas card! She seemed delighted and surprised, and returned our gesture with a snowman cookie jar filled with homemade peanut butter cookies. With this, I knew we finally had made friends with a neighbor! 

Then, in early December one evening, she came over to ask us to turn down our music. We didn't have even a tv, let alone music blasting, on. We told her as much, and she complimented us on our holiday decorations, then we said goodbyes and she went home. 

Then, on December 26th, during the early afternoon, she came a-knocking on our door. Asking us to please turn down our music. At this time, Tyler had a migraine and was upstairs sleeping it off. Being the lovely wife that I am ;) , I was just doing dishes and laundry and other quietish activities. No music, no tv on. She seemed confused and told me she heard a bass music sound thumping through the wall we shared. I told her we didn't have any electronics on, and she asked me to come listen in her house. I spent 45 minutes in her living room, listening for bass music. Never heard anything. She said she always feels the bass music rhythm in her chest, and proceeded to gorilla pound her own chest to demonstrate. She gave me a tour of her house, I gave her our phone numbers, and asked her to call us if she heard the music again so that we could try to figure out where it was coming from. We smiled, hugged, and parted ways. 

Fast forward to last Wednesday. I work nights, for those of you who are new to my blog and don't know, and I had worked the 7pm-7am shift on Tuesday night, so I was sleeping all day Weds. I woke up around 5pm on Wednesday afternoon, and Tyler said, 

"So...uhhhhh...the police came by today."

Um - excuse me - WTF? Yeah, apparently a police officer came by to investigate a noise complaint filed against us by our neighbor, Naggie. Ridiculous. I had been asleep all day. Med student husband had been studying on the couch. Dogs napping. Complete quiet. The officer took note of the silence, the lack of bass music that had been reported, and went on his way. I was livid. Like, I dropped more f-bombs than I have in a loooong time. I decided to shower before going next door to confront her. 

I just cannot believe that she had the nerve to call the police after we had such a productive conversation a few weeks ago! After I had given her our phone numbers, told her we were more than willing to try to find a solution to the continuing problem, and ended with a hug. She didn't even call us to try to fix the problem. Straight to the cops. 

So I realized she's a lying passive aggressive biatch. I know how to deal with people of that sort. By confronting them head on. Confrontation is the scariest thing in the world to passive aggressive folk, and I'm not shy when it comes to having a good ole honest discussion. So I marched my butt next door Weds night. She didn't answer the door.

After work on Thursday morning, I marched right back over there. She didn't answer the door. I called her. She answered. I politely said hello, and asked whether she had a minute to talk. She responded that no, she did not have time to talk. In a sugar sweet voice, I let her know that we were going to have to, at some point, discuss the fact that she called the police on us when we didn't do anything wrong. She seemed unnerved upon realizing that I wasn't just going to avoid and drop it. 

After work on Friday morning, I called her again. Asked her if she had time to talk. She said she did not. I let her know that I would call her tomorrow to schedule a time to talk. A few hours later, she actually called me back! She said, "I have 10 minutes for you." I went over, and our talk commenced. She actually admitted that she thinks we blast our bass music, then conveniently turn it off when she and the police officer came over. Are. You. KIDDING? I told her we don't have enough time or energy to purposefully try to ruin her life by playing loud music. She proceeded to again tell me how the bass music gets her deep in the chest, and she demonstrated the rhythm, reminding me of a really bad beat boxer. And I'm beginning to think she just has a heart condition. If she wants to think we're lying, awful people, then that's her problem. We ended the convo on goodish terms, I suppose. But I still don't think she believes me. 

Ugh. What would you do???

Because we own our townhome and we WILL be here for at least the next 2 years, and I'd rather not have a delusional bitch neighbor trying to accuse us of things we're not doing.

This is who Naggie reminds me of:

Yeah. Crazy Samuel L. Jackson in Lakeview Terrace. Seen it?

Does getting the cops called on me count as a new experience for 2011?

Cheers ---